Fate of the Milk Jug Designer
Some of you, like myself, depend on ELGAS for cooking or hot water LPG. Some of us even use them for heating LPG supply. They’ve usually been pretty good about getting a delivery over to me, even though they have a bizarre schedule for these parts of the Lake George area.
Well, On the 1st of March, I decided to check how much gas was left in the tanks, as they’d sent the obligatory tank rental invoice the previous day and we usually fill up around the same time that bill arrives.
Much to my surprise, there wasn’t a whole lot of gas left in the cylinder and the other cylinder was bone dry. So, I calls ‘em up and orders some gas… “Not a problem,” she says, “You’re on the delivery list for the 5th of March”.
Excellent!.. Gas on the 5th, that should work out with no problem…. Except.. On the 5th, the delivery boffin gets to the top of the driveway, feels it’s “Too Wet To Deliver” and continues on his merry way down the road without even attempting a go down the driveway. How do I know this? He has quite a large delivery tank truck, that leaves very distinctive tire tread marks where it goes. NO tire marks.. Only at the top of the drive near the mailbox.
I was miffed… I suppose I would have been more understanding if the guy had actually tried the driveway, but he seems to have made his assumption from the mailbox, without even a look at the actual driveway. Which, BTW, was fine for access. We NEVER flood around here. Too high up the ridge.
So, another week goes by and I’m relegated to using a little metho (methylated alcohol, for my North American readers) powered camp stove to boil water for my coffee. Forget about cooking an actual dinner as I’d become paranoid about running out of LPG in the middle of a roast.
As I mentioned, they have a bizarre schedule for delivery out here.. Mondays… I thought… twice a month, so I expected a delivery this week on the 12th.. But wait! The 12th is a holiday in Canberra, so of course… no delivery…
So I ring the El Gas people today on the 13th and say, “Am I on today’s delivery list?”
“No”, she says, “You slated for Apr 2nd”.
I say to her, ” That’s Unacceptable. (insert pregnant silence) Because your delivery bloke thought it was too wet to deliver, I have to wait a month for gas?”
She goes real quiet. Starts with the “Are you sure you’re out of gas, cuz I’m looking at your delivery records and you should still have a bit in that tank”. You know we’d have to charge you an emergency fill fee of $150 if there was gas left in the tank. I’ll have to chat to the Manager when he comes in to see what he says.” Then she says, “You know, if you have a BBQ bottle, you can hook that up to your stove in a pinch.”
By this time, my blood pressure is about to pop like the cartoon cat whose head turns into a seething, bulging thermometer with the mercury about to explode from the bulbous glass end… Right! They’re gonna charge me $150 because their Big Girl’s Blouse of a delivery boy wouldn’t come down my driveway on a wet day.
Feeling it best to end the conversation, I calmly put down the phone and go make my coffee… And while the billy boils, I think to myself, “Self! Go check the level of gas in that tank again.. and this time, measure it properly..”
So, I go pour hot water over the tank again.
I ring the ELGAS woman again & sez to her, “There’s about 10cm of cold liquid left in the bottom on this tank. DO you think that’ll last till April 2nd?”
She sez, ” Oh sure… That’s heaps & should last you, but I’ll have a chat to the manager when he comes in and if there’s a truck that’s going to be near you before then, we’ll have them stop and fill you up”.
I sez, “That would be nice, thank you.”
We’ll see what transpires…
But you see? It’s stiff cheese if they miss your delivery due to weather or a Canberra holiday. That, In my humble opinion, is a ridiculous way to run a business.
I wonder if they’d put up a stink if they didn’t get paid for their gas because it was too wet to write a cheque… The ink might run, eh? And now, I’m thinking that perhaps it might be a lot cheaper to keep a few 9kg BBQ bottles around and have ‘em put those 45kg tanks and their annual rental, where the sun don’t shine…
How thoughtful of the neighbours on Gum Flat Lane… They’ve evidentially opened an all night servo for the local residents. At least that’s what their tarted up house looks like to me at night. There it stands, late into the night, with a few extra brilliant mercury vapour lights placed to illuminate the entire valley.
Perhaps they assume it’ll be easier to spot the Indonesian hordes when they attack Bywong at night. Maybe they fear burglars…. as if a few lights are going stop the intrepid interlopers who raid the unattended properties in broad daylight.
Odd feature for an area that would pride itself on being able to see the stars at night.. No longer… Now we have Illumination! To hell with the night sky, eh? Reminds me of Darryl Kerrigan and his homage to the high tension power lines… a symbol of man’s domination over his environment…
I wonder if the new Servo stocks Chicko Rolls? Perhaps I’ll wander over there late one night and see. Won’t be hard to find with those lights shining as a bright beacon all night. Perhaps I’ll sneak over there one night and fertilise their pine grove. Those slowly growing pines should contain that obnoxious light sooner or later.
Reckitt Benckiser seems to be the latest standard bearer of Corporate Greed. The company has decided to move it’s iconic Australian manufacturing operation overseas for ‘economic’ reasons.
They had the nerve to run a Save Louie The Fly campaign while they were planning the shutdown of their Australian manufacturing facility.
Fair enough… Seems that today’s business ethos centres around the bottom line and the staunch employees be damned. Nothing but profits, dividends and attaining those multi-million dollar bonuses seem to matter to corporations these days.
So, perhaps those companies which choose to move their operations overseas for ‘economic’ reasons, should be immediately de-registered as Australian companies, their Trade Marks released to the public domain and their now imported toxics, tariffed..
There is an unbelievable list of products Reckitt Benckiser has in their portfolio. All should be boycotted. Click this link to see a full list of poisons we should no longer purchase as ‘imported’ toxics. http://www.ethical.org.au/company/?company=547
Most of these products can be sourced from different manufacturers. There’s no need to support this company who has demonstrated such a flippant attitude to the Australian worker. Perhaps ALL companies who used to have Australian manufacturing operations and moved overseas, should have their products boycotted.
Or is that just too hard?
Yes, another year down the tubes and so ends one of the wettest years I’ve recorded.
Regardless of the energy saving methodologies I’ve initiated, the power company has surreptitiously increased it’s rates so my bills stay as high as ever. I’d say 2012 will be the year I install the 23 or so 235W Solar panels and adjust all the high current appliances to run during sunlight hours only. I’ve already put several of the servers, routers, all the televisions and some of the house lighting on the battery packs. I’ll add more as I gain more solar charging ability.
The weeds are happy this year, except those who have languished under my Glyphosate showers. My garden will produce a bumper crop of potatoes, some corn and wax beans. Maybe even some Quinoa. The orchard has some nice plums, nashie pears and enough apples to float a Collins Class Submarine.
There are other weeds which I tend lovingly and they seem to be a potentially ‘enlightening’ crop this year.
This year I will need to turn my attentions to the new neighbour and his yard lights. The poor misguided buggar seems to think lighting up the valley with his Mercury vapour floodlights is a pleasant view for his neighbours.
Aside from making his place look like a Caltex Servo at night, it almost prevents any decent astronomy. A terrible outcome for an area that had better ‘seeing’ than Mount Stromlo. But, then again, I haven’t done anything nefarious to the neighbour… yet…
I might turn him into the Shire Council for environmental light pollution… or perhaps drop a sign with an arrow to his place on Macs Reef Road, advertising a road house or some such. Ladies of the Night…. Free Beer & Smokes, eh?
Let’s see…. Other than that, it was a pretty good year. The Martial Arts goes well.. I’m healthier & fitter than I’ve been in years and my wife tells me I look better now than I did when she first met me.. Bonus! I’ll have to keep up the regimen.. (Canberra newsreaders note: That was the proper usage of the word ‘regimen’… it refers to a course of action… it is NOT a ‘Regime’ or a current governmental body.)
One day, I’ll educate the unwashed masses on the proper use of those two words… Maybe I’ll even get them to pronounce a proper Spanish ‘J’ sound….
Back to cutting commercials…. A very Happy New Year to All!
Great Southern, Country Energy, Essential Energy, well, whatever they call themselves these days, doesn’t make their service any better. At 7:00AM on Christmas morning, their inadequate infrastructure decided to ‘bounce’ the supply along Macs Reef Road and the associated spurs.
Not only did this little ‘glitch’ reset my servers, it also corrupted the radio stations music database. So, the first thing on my Christmas Morning agenda was to wander into the office and rebuild the database.
Thanks (insert current name here) Power Company. You’ve begun my Christmas with your typical service regimen. Purchasing that 10kW solar setup is looking better each day…
Council apathy turns a main transport road into a potential death trap.
Some time ago, I wrote a little piece on the fate of P-Platers in Australia and the lack of proper government funded Driver Education Programs. The general gist was year 10 & 11 students should be taught how to drive as an adjunct to their Physical Education Programs. So, instead of 5 hours of Phys-Ed per week, perhaps 4 hours of Phys-Ed and 1 hour of Driver Training, including theory, simulator and on-road lessons.
Old girl lost control and flipped it near my driveway.
Now, all a good idea to educate our kids on how to operate a potentially life threatening machine, safely… But what about the environment they are expected to operate within?
In the fifteen odd years that I’ve lived on Macs Reef Road, I’ve witnessed three vehicle rollovers and countless road kills of the local fauna. Not much can be done about the mindless kangaroos who seem to be attracted to vehicular suicide, but three vehicle rollovers are actually three too many.
The girl I helped out of this mess said the car just veered and rolled.
Excessive speed is a contributing factor, as is the deplorable condition of the road surface. You would think the council would make the widening and resurfacing of Macs Reef Road a priority. Especially with the increased traffic caused by the new Headquarters for the Joint Defence Force. Lately, it’s been remarked to me that Macs Reef Road is becoming the Pitt Street of Palerang. I must admit, the peak hour traffic from Canberra and surrounds has increased to an incredible level from a few years ago.
This bloke rolled himself up my driveway embankment.
All of the rollovers in this post have taken place in the last four years. Does that tell you something about increased traffic and decreased road surface conditions? Perhaps… But in any case, the problem should be examined by council.
Something needs to be done about the road surface, lane marking and the apparently excessive speed on a rural residential road littered with blind driveways.
One other situation which should be addressed: Some time ago, a particular motorcyclist posted his time to ride Macs Reef Road, from the Federal highway to Bungendore Road, at three minutes flat. Now, every Sports Bike boffin with penis envy, attempts to best the posted time. You can hear them wailing from the top of Macs Reef, at 140 to 180km/h down to Bungendore Road. No police on the weekends… So, an easy game for the road racers…. until some resident pulls out of his driveway in front of one.
One day, someone will pull out of their driveway and....
Perhaps we should encourage council to debate these issues in one of their voter funded rhetoric sessions and get on with making Macs Reef Road a safer transport lane.
Are you reading this one…. Stainless?
Another grading.. another stripe on my Yellow Belt. I’m told the equivalency would be a Green Belt, but we live under a different grading system. A third stripe is fine for me, although I wouldn’t mind buying another belt, just for the change in colour.
Liz & I are thinking about going to the Nationals in Brisbane. We were asked if we’d like to choreograph a sparring routine, using the bamboo swords. This will give Liz a good reason to give me a couple of whacks here & there and get away with it… innocently.
So, Liz is tasked to come up with a routine that incorporates several of the pattern steps that we’ve learned and perhaps a few we haven’t yet mastered.
It will be interesting..
And with good reason. I have a penchant for stating the obvious, whether they like hearing the obvious or not.
Recently, a Funeral Director from South Australia said in an open post, she found the link to my blog post, Offensive… Well.. those ramblings in my blog are my opinions and she is allowed to read them or ignore them. There’s no one holding a gun to anyone’s head saying, “Here! Read this!”
Another guffawed at my usage of the term ‘Funeral Industry’, probably because he isn’t aware that in the States, it is indeed proudly considered an $11 Billion dollar Industry. With Baby Boomers entering their mid 60′s, by 2020 the ‘Industry’ should grow well beyond 9%. Not a bad return on death. The only reported downside seen from the Industry is the increase of cremations which seems to be cutting into the margins..
I’ll cite Bloomberg Business for these figures:
Reinventing the Funeral Industry
Anyway, most of my thin skinned Australian associates do find my ramblings offensive, especially if they cut close to home.
For example: Much of the cultural angst, I believe, comes from the blatant differences in word meanings. In the U.S., a ‘Removalist’ is a person deemed qualified to pick up and transport remains to the Funeral Home. In Australia, a removalist, moves your house furniture. So, it’s quite easy for a Funeral Director in Australia to get his or her noses out of joint if you refer to them in the American context.
I would say the same occurs on the context of ‘Viewings’. Understandably, an Australian viewing is a short affair, usually privately held in the chapel before or after the service.
The ‘Viewings’ to which I refer in the American context, are the typical chapel visitations, where the decedant reposes in state anywhere from 2 to 3 days, or even longer. Not something I have ever come across in Australia, although it’s not to say it doesn’t occur, I’ve just not seen if for myself. Just one of those North American cultural things where you gather to sing the praises of the decedant and try your best to empathise with the family, while noting how good he or she looks in that beautiful Batesville. An affair that gives all the friends and relatives time to travel and pay their respects to the departed and the family.
Now, the woman from SA didn’t have the foresight to mention exactly which part of my post she found offensive, elst I could reply directly to the point, but in summation, my diatribe was pointed at the cultural differences between the United States and Australia, with regards to my opinion on their comparative funeral industries. I myself, would like to see the three day Chapel visitations become part of Australian culture. It would, at least, make more work for Trade Embalmers.
But foremost, my post was aimed at the lack of regulation that permits unlicensed & unregulated practitioners to conduct funerals. From the page of www.obits.com.au with regards to the Australian Funeral Directors Association, comes the following quote:
Never has there been a bigger need for a self governing body than in the funeral industry. The Federal, State and Local laws governing death and funerals is so involved that for an individual to keep abreast of changes and compliance is almost impossible.This organisation sees the need for regulation. But they as an Association should report to a higher authority watching over all aspects of the industry. Perhaps something similar to the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency. A registration agency for all in the Funeral profession.
I can recall having to sit the Illinois State Board Exams before I could begin to practice embalming or conduct a funeral. Why not institute a similar testing program here in Australia?
Now, perhaps this South Australian Funeral Director was offended because she refuses to admit to herself there is an underlying problem with the industry here in Australia. Perhaps Funeral Directors in South Australia are unaware of problems in the industry. Or perhaps she was offended that someone should suggest the Government step in and regulate the Funeral industry.
In either case, there is indeed an underlying problem in the Australian Funeral Industry, which requires more than just a self regulatory body to fix the issues. You would think a Government regulatory body would be a welcomed entity which would enable a cohesiveness and best practice methodology throughout Australia. I myself, would be proud to display such a certificate on the wall of my Funeral Home.
Perhaps one asks what moved me to stir the pot on this occasion? Perhaps, there are those who would like certain news reports to quietly go away. Perhaps it’s not just this old Trade Embalmers opinion after all…..
I refer my readers the following links to The Age, one of the Fairfax newspapers located in the State of Victoria:
and
and to the Courier Mail, part of Queensland Newspapers.
Now… to the Funeral Director in South Australia… Being retired from the Industry for many years (there not being much call for a Trade Embalmer in the ACT region anyway), I found these obviously horrifying pockets of the Funeral industry in Australia to be most offensive. Perhaps you would like to lead the fight for Government regulation and help rid your industry of such dodgy practitioners.
Taking up a martial art as I enter into the latter part of my century, I’ve found myself confronted with envious admiration of Master Kim, my Haidong Gumdo instructor. Not because he is a craftsman in his art or that he happens to hold a 4th Dan Black belt. No, I envy him in that his two sons have grown up to be such fine young men.
Here are two young lads who’ve not only embraced their father’s discipline in Haidong, but have also gotten their heads around life in general. Although you can detect the struggle of their battles with the change of adolescence to manhood, you can also appreciate their inherent wisdom and adult mannerisms they’ve both acquired.. They are truly wise beyond their years and I can only wish them the best tidings in whatever path they both may follow. I’m sure their father is very proud of them.
All that said; sadly I feel deep remorse in that I didn’t have the opportunity to watch my own son, (who seems to have some of those same qualities as the Kim boys), pass those milestones with me. Gone are the thoughts of camping trips, working together in the workshop, carousing & whoring and yes, perhaps even taking a martial arts course together.
With all good intentions, my kids were to be able to spend time with me here in Oz. Until, of course, their mother decided they wouldn’t travel to visit with me unless I forked over a $10,000 USD surety bond for each. That put the thought of enlightening my children to the Australian ethos out of financial reach and trying to battle such nonsense in a US family court would have been out of the question as well.
Time marches on and I was able to see my, now all grown up, kids at my daughters wedding in September of 2010. My daughter had flowered into a beauty that I was reluctant give away to a man I had never met. How fortunate he turned out to be a seemingly decent fellow. I recall taking this man Lindsay by the hand and clasping the other on his shoulder, asking him, “Son. What are your intentions?”
His eyes widened, a broad smile grew on his face and he replied, “Good?”
I took an instant liking to the lad and passed on my blessings.
Then, there was my son. A tall, handsome boy, looking ever so much like a younger image of his Grandfather, Robert. In the true tradition of our family males, he had a sweet looking bit of fluff hanging from his arm, gazing up at him in adoration.. I laughed to myself and thought, “Like father, Like son”. Sorry Megan, I hated to sound condescending, but you ARE a sweet looking bit of fluff 
My boy had grown into a fine young man and my pride welled up into a lump in my throat. He seemed well adjusted, a bit moody, perhaps even a dark streak hidden behind those piercing eyes. But, considering the circumstance, he seems to have turned out ok. Albeit his mother exercised an extreme attempt to poison them both towards me. Afraid, I suppose, that I would somehow steal them both away. How typical…
Still, I think they see the folly in it all and I’m hoping now, that they have both reached majority, a trip downunda to see what life could have been with their old man, might be on their respective dance cards. They both know they are always welcomed in my house, for as long as they see fit. Partners included, as I can always do with the company and conviviality.
Perhaps there’s even time for camping, a DIY project or two and a few trips to the local gin joints & wineries. For, life goes on and it’s quality is only as good as you make it. What better way to catch up on lost years, over an Australian sunset with the appropriate drop of local produce…
